......my family consist of members of mafia. My father included. His father, five brothers, and him ran own mafia. My grandfather was leader. My uncles were Avraam, Ivan, Miloslav, Isidor, and Kazimir, the one who despise me most. Uncle Kazimir always hate my blood and wanted me dead. Grandfather died of being shot in head. Father took over business since he oldest. My five uncles despised him, and didn't like taking orders from him. When they had enough, uncle Kazimir tried to kill me. We stop them, but have been forced to move to America, the land of which I despise most of all.....

We decide we stay in quiet, peaceful town. I wanted place most like Russia, sadly there weren't any even close to Russia. Father and I chose South Park since it always have cold climate and peaceful. Might I mention we also had to change my name? That's right. Carmen isn't my birthname. It Elizaveta. I never tell anyone about it. But, what would be simply staying undercover.......would turn out differently.......

Before South Park, I NEVER believe in friends. But, when I got here, I met Brandyn Curr. When I first met Brandyn, I thought he was just simply not as lame as other ugly American children......but he wasn't just that at all. He great and funny boy. He like little brother I never have. We love to kill small animals and a bunch of other things together. I also met Scar McSpark, even though she claims to be man, I love her like sister. Mole is boy whom I had instant connection with. Little did I know he would share my father as if he were his own. Then I meet Landyn.......I normally LOATHE his kind.....I HATE Southerners and LOATHE men who constantly hit on women!.........But Landyn, he different. I feel.......strange around that boy. He no make joke about how short I am or how I get held back year.......he even call me his favorite "pet".........._{And he sexy......>///////<} *clears throat* ANYWAY, as I saying this small mountain town change me....slightly. I still despise all other American children. They hate me, I hate them, pure and simple. The trees in small mountain town are fun to climb though. They tall and strong, just how I like it. Also, the drug-selling business is REALLY good here. Same with being hitman. South Park ain't too bad, for American standards of course. 

Today, Scar and I go and shoplift. We do this alot and it fun to do. I mean, free stuff. Who doesn't want that? We always do fun illegal stuff. We take drugs, mug people, and boatloads more. I am waiting for Scar and I see her, before I could say hi, I had rag with strong chemicals held up on my nose and mouth. I couldn't breathe or think, I hear Scar's voice:

She tried to save me,. but alas, I go from seeing clearly, to blurry, to black. I pass out........

Next thing I know, I in airplane in sky. I had rope tying my arms and legs together, and duck tape on my mouth. I struggled, but it useless. I suddenly hear evil laughter which sounded familiar.....when I look up, it was Uncle Isidor. They had found my location.....


Isidor: Well looks like I found my Malenʹkaya devochka. I knew you'd be somewhere around these parts, Elizaveta.

Isidor laughed his husky laugh. He was fat, sweaty old man with greyish black hair and mustache who wears raccoon hat like Daniel Boone and his so called "lucky boots". He wore those things nearly everyday when I was little. Suddenly he mercilessly tore off duck tape from mouth. It was painful but I hold in my scream. I never show weakness to anyone. Nor will I ever anytime soon.

Isidor: You were clever though I'll give you that much. So was your little boyfriend....

I knew he talking about Scar.

Me: What did you do to her you bastard?!

Isidor: That was she? Hmmm....anyway I knock her lights out. She won't be able to move for a few more hours.

Me: You son of bitch.....

Isidor: She's lucky compared to what I'm going to do to you.

Me: ....chto?

Isidor: *smirk* I'm going to jump off airplane with parachute and leave you in here to crash. After I kill you, Vladimir will be next. *dark laughter*

Me: YOU'LL NEVER GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!!

Isidor: But I will. With you tied up, there's nothing to stop me.


I froze. He right. I can't do shit........or can't I? I realized that I carry all sorts of weapons for emergencies like this. Who's laughing now father? But he can see me, so I rolled into place out of his vision. Luckily for me, Isidor over-confident fool who nos keep constant surveillance on his enemies. Bad move on his part. I struggled for a while and finally I grab knife and free myself of the rope's grasp. It was too loud and Isidor heard it. He put plane on auto-pilot and chased after me. I drop knife and he grabs it. Damn I was cornered.....

Isidor: Any last words?......

I look down for while, then I say, "Cowardly fool." He stood in rage and hold up my neck to knife.

Isidor: How am I coward filthy runt?!!

Me: You use weapons to do your dirty work. It cheating. Therefore, you're coward.

Isidor: Very well then. *drops knife* We do this old fashioned way.


I tried to punch him, and he grabbed my arm and threw my body against wall. As he run towards me I grab his neck and I choked him. He broke free and tried to choke me too, over control panel which turns off autopilot, plummeting us to the ground. I did what I had to do. I shot him with my gun at his crotch multiple times. In pain and near death, he let go and I grab parachute and I listened to his dying words.

Isidor: You cheated on your own terms......

Me: *smirks and looks back* Miserable piece of shit. I always cheat.

I jumped off and yanked the cord. The cord broke off and I was falling fast. Quickly, I pull safety cord which worked fine. While I was waiting to fall like leaf to ground, I watch airplane crash into mountain. It explode with Isidor inside. As I near ground, I see I'm landing near my temporary home. When I land, I knocked as fast and hard as I could. Father quickly opened door, where my two brothers were waiting for me.

Father: Where were you young lady? And why you have open parachute on your back?.....

Mole: And why are you a bruised, bloody mess?

Me: Father, Jason, Mole we have to leave immediately.

Jason, Mole, and Father at same time: But why?

Me: They found us.

All of their eyes widened.