AHHH!!! I woke up once more. Its been over a month since I've heard from Carmen. I have toughened up quite a bit since then. Conner and Mole arrived about a week ago. We all stay in Eve's vacation home in Russia. So far, no luck on finding Carmen. Not a trace, nothing. Everyone here is asleep. But I can't sleep, my body won't allow it. I couldn't help but feel something bad is happening to Carmen and the others....this time I heard Scar, Juli, and Jimbo scream. Every night it changes. Mole, Conner and Eve were still asleep, but I couldn't. I rolled my eyes and attempted to sleep once more, the most disturbing thing happened....
I see Carmen crying and staring at me...she was in pain. Not physical, but mental.
"Help me Jason....."
I see her scream in terror, as she flashes from herself, to a controlled being wearing black everywhere. A mask hid her face, the mask resembled a face of pure evil. Then the flashing stopped, it looked at me with its soulless eyes. I see the woods and Pyro burning a duck as she watched. His throat got slit and his stomach stabbed. Scar was there to save him. Then she went to Jimbo's place and grabbed gun, she shot Juli, Jimbo, and poor Scar....she was in the most pain for sure. Her best friend becoming her killer. I couldn't imagine that. I see Mica talking on news, as it watched from a safe distance. Its intentions was to kill her. The ground was starting to crumble beneath my feet, I attempted to run, but fell into the abyss, I could not scream. I eventually fell to the bottom, as I saw her being controlled by our uncles. They were after me as well. I hear her voice plead to me and cry....she does not want this....
"Save me before I lose myself.....I'm not doing this at my own free willing...please save me...."
"What's going on?!"
"They've got control of me Jason....Mica's going next....please stop me at all costs."
I felt everything shake from under me, her piercing screams hurt me as I saw her transform into the horrid beast once more. It looked at me with its voidless eyes, then it grabbed me. I was defenseless.
"No no please!"
I was crying, my death being inevitable, but I hear voices as well.
"Jason are you okay?"
"Jason! Jason wake ze fuck up!"
Water poured on me then I feel myself fade from the nightmare and begin adjusting to reality....
Mole: Jason what ze fuck what happened?....
I was in shock and silence, recomposing myself, trying to explain the horrors of it all.
Conner: Seriously Jason what's wrong? We're in this battle together.
Eve: Say it before I kill you.
Conner: Never say that to your allies! Only to enemies. Our prime objective isn't to erradicate our fellow resistors.
Eve: *eye roll* Yeah yeah whatever. Just spill it.
Me: Carmen.....she's......controlled by....them.....
Mole: Who ze fuck ees "zem"?
Me: Our uncles....they've controlled her.....she's killed many....Mica's next.
Mole stared at me, than ran into the night with all the might he could muster. Conner was about to go after, but I stopped him. He knew what he was doing, protecting his love. Our mission here is to eliminate Miloslav, Avraam, Ivan and Kazimir....Mole assigned himself to saving his girl. I knew he needed no help. He's the strongest of all of us. He's brave enough to do it alone, it's his mission, not our's. Eve looked at me strangely, I became more serious ever since I lost her to them. Braver as well. I notice Conner is too.
Conner: You've changed alot from the past month....I'm surprised you haven't done anything perverted since.
Me: My sister is out there, suffering. You think I would just pleasure myself while she's in so much pain and fear? Of course not. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that. I need her to be safe, at peace. I want her home more than anything. She deserves it more than I do.
Conner: That's real brave of you to say, Jason. I'd say you've become more mature.
Me: Thanks Conner.
Eve: Very touching now can we just fucking sleep already?
They both did, but not me, I had combat training to do. I got on my boots and coat and went outside. It was snowing alot here. I got out my sword and sliced a small tree in half with one slice. I started slashing the other trees as well. Then, I see the biggest one, it resembled my father's build, muscular but not steroids muscular. I lunged and quickly ran for it, slicing it in half, landing on the other side and I watched it fall to the ground. I sat on the newly formed log and looked up into the night, it was peaceful for once. There was a full moon and a bunch of stars surrounding it. Reminded me of when I was little at the circus, I was adopted into a nice family. My foster father's name was Adrik, mother's was Vasya, and I even had two brothers, Aleksei and Viktor. Mother and brothers were petite similar to Carmen and I. Father was big man. The sky reminded me of him telling Alexsei, Viktor and I stories. He was big and the star next to the moon made me think of Vasya. How they were full of love and faith in each other. Viktor, Aleksei and I were the ones below him. We would always laugh and play with one another. No fights happened, nothing. Thee sole reason why I was named Jason instead of Russian name was because Vasya and Adrik wanted a foreign name in the family. It made me feel special at time. Viktor was only four and Aleksei was 19 years old. Back then I was two. I wasn't good at circus like everyone else was. I always ended up falling when I got on unicycle or tightrope, was too scared to go near stage because of stage fright, and stumbled at juggling. One day I was crying in my room. Mother came in and encouraged me.
Vasya: You can be good at something, everyone is.
Me: But I can't mommy I'll never be good enough. Its why birthmother and father abandonned me isn't it?
Vasya: Don't talk like that Jason! Listen, mommy was bad too when she started. But I gradually became better as I practiced. You just need to find something you want to learn okay sweetie?
Me: *sniffle* You promise mom?....
Vasya: *smile* I know so son.
She hugged me and I began to practice. For the first time, I felt confident in practice. I juggled and actually did it right. I was smiling and laughing. Family watched me and smiled.
Me: Hey look I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
Viktor: Yeah you are!
Aleksei: Don't stop dude!
Vasya: Keep going sweetie!
Adrik: That's my boy!
I felt so happy that day, I was encouraged for what I did. For most, that sounds so simple and easy to get. But even back then I knew it was something to treasure. Love. But unfortunately, when I was 10 Aleksei died of brain cancer. Mom and father followed suit and died of depression. Viktor and I were all that remained. We kept close. Until he died of being mauled by bear. I watched him, I had to put him out of his misery. It was horrible. The ring leader named Bertram took me in, but he was mean and nasty to me. Whenever I made flaw in routine, I was struck with his whip. He never comforted me, loved me, or took care of me like a son should be. Instead I was just slave. I cried every night and he never botheered to care. I asked him one day if I could search for my real family and home, he laughed at the thought and beat me up. He didn't want me to leave, I was now his best worker. Ever since then I vowed to find my real family, no matter what it took. After two years of searching, I did. But I still feel empty inside, I miss them. But they wouldn't want me to suffer. They'd want me to move on, to make more friends and family, to create more happy memories, to cherish everything to the fullest. They'd want me to be there for those in pain and in need, they'd want me to save Carmen. I always think of the stars and moon as them, I feel like they still keep in touch with me. I still feel like they're there for me. Watching over me, as I go on in life.
Me: For you mommy and daddy....
Maksim waddled over to me, I had to beg Conner to bring him over here. He's all I have left of Carmen. I hugged him and he grunted. He missed her too. I could tell from him barely eating anything. And Maksim was the fastest and biggest eater I knew when Carmen was around. But now she isn't but we'll find her, I hope. I need to, for everyone. Maksim slept on my lap and I carried him inside with me, I shut the door and put Maksim in his pet bed. He slept silently. I smiled at his peaceful sleep, since it reminded me of Carmen and her peaceful sleep. I took off my boots and jacket, then I got back inside my sleeping bag. For the first time in a month, I was able to get a peaceful good night sleep.